Boy, I've been thinking on this one a bit because things keep popping up. I feel like I'm building a VERY LARGE puzzle and many of the little pieces keep coming. This sounds so wise but its not. I don't understand. At all. I met an astounding woman a few days ago. She happened into my studio beyond chance. This day we amply shared the emotion of sadness and for both it centered around our children. The gift she brought is to see my own shadow and inward critic, unworthiness as a parent at a heart level. At a physical level all looks pretty good. At a spiritual level this looks like separation. Our relating emotional experience is separation, our belief? We are unworthy, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I am fearful of my children. This sounds irrational but that is one piece of my puzzle that overturned itself to be exposed at the end of May. Wow, I wanted to extract it from the puzzle but I know it is part of the bigger picture and the rest I need to release to something bigger with trust. The antidote to separation is forgiveness. I've been working radical forgiveness a lot lately. It ebbs and flows and right now it is flowing. There is a sense of guilt in taking the time to do this work but I know it is the thing to do, no matter how much time it consumes now. The alternative is to be consumed with fear which is fake anyway, wish that lesson would sink in! (I will) It activated in me a request for help from friends. Support to allow or open perspective is a step into me opening my heart fully to my kids. (which is me empowering myself) When I had children, without realizing it I remember saying, "My only fear about having kids is that they'll be like me." What I didn't realize is the gold in this statement. This in that very moment was me saying, "I reject me, so I must reject them" So then, what's the point of having children? It is so they too can feel separation. I struggle being their teacher about separation. I have come to this is the crux of my body issues. I stuff what I am supposed to 'unleash' with them because I am resisting playing the role of being me so they experience separation. Again, I'll figure it out and each day we grow closer to our source and for this I am grateful! Have a good day and honor the pieces in your puzzle no matter what shape they are. Amy

Good day to all! I've changed my career on Linked In to Intuitive Reader. Please visit this when you get a chance. I had an exchange yesterday. I am walking in life through awareness. Keeping myself in my body, observing the emotions as they rise in me. Working with the ego to allow space for its "heightenings." A friend came to spend time with me at my studio yesterday. She is a good friend and has been in my life for a good long time. I talked about an art project I am doing to make 1,000 paintings. I ordered 50 canvases Monday and said, "This is part of my empowerment, this is who I am." Then like most people I told her I have fear. She said, "I see you trust." It shook me a bit because even though surface Amy may feel the fear, she can see trust in me and even though that trust may feel like a rusty nail holding the squeaky gate onto the barn, I feel it too. Then as I spoke about some of those fears, she acted wholly from the Divine. She said, "If you need help with any of this, please call on me." Now many people say this and right away I laid out my well thought out plan for getting canvas here and there, shipping and invoicing as it sells, even down to some marketing I've thought up. What I didn't get until about 1/2 hour later was I heard what she said, I really heard what she said. She said, "She wants my empowerment." It was how she said there is help there for me, it was how she said she can see me trusting this. I usually can't hear these things because I overlay them with my lack. I just told a friend I can't feel and you know what, I think with this friend I claimed it and at some level released it because I cried in the car realizing, I have sooooo wanted the empowerment of others, I read and make art all for this purpose. I felt, if they gain, I gain and we all gain and that is big. However, I now see I can be empowered and it can be done without fear because I have all of the support I need. I built my community and more are flowing in rapidly. This was a big moment for me and I send deep gratitude to this friend who shared her support and to all of my friends who are pure love~which is all of them! Love, Amy