The Messenger in my life

"Well," Scratching my head, "it took me long enough!" This image is my cat. My second time I've had him. He didn't run away or get lost and return. He died and came back. It has taken me so long to understand it. When I was a child I had a black cat named Rascal. He was great, he loved me and was my best friend....even though he was a cat, not a dog. He died when he was 9 years old. Strikingly, I believe that is the number of completion! Then a half decade ago we fostered a mama cat who was a stripped short hair and not striking at all! She bore some beautiful kittens. Two were fluffy with the softest fur and great coloring. Two were short hairs like her and had nice markings as well. One of them was black on top and white on the bottom with a little blacky ink mark against his stunningly white fur on his back leg. I named him smudge and I knew we needed to keep that kitty with us. However, I didn't know why. A friend mentioned animals returning to be with us again in the same life. I thought about this and when I looked at my own circuit of cats, it dawned on me that Rascal is Smudge. The more I sat with it, the more I could see this to be true. Rascal died with this sore in his mouth and just where he had that sore, smudge has a black spot in his mouth. Rascal had a funny thing with his tail, so did Smudge, upon birth. So I accepted the possibility of Smudge being Rascal and Rascal being Smudge. One day it dawned on me that Rascal was all black with a little white on his throat. As a child I said what I thought to people and they seemed to listen, I had a little power with my voice. Now Smudge's under carriage is all white and he is bathed in black on top dripping down like chocolate. He is masked by the black. So this begs the question. Once Smudge releases from this life, what will he take with him? I think Rascal took a lot of my personal injuries with him. I believe he kept me healthy and made sacrifice for me through his own shortened life. Smudge is loving me a lot. He is dedicated to me and comes running when I call. Drama or love? Hard to tell, he is a cat! So what is to come? I suspect an improved version of Smudge and Rascal's legacy. I hope, in a sign that I've grown far, he'll come in a white variety? See, if we all tune into these things in our lives, WOW what we can find!!!

"Please, no photos" -Smudge