Energy Update, "Conflict"

When we have conflict our natural tendency may be to run! There are fighters and flighters! Who are you? I find most Midwestern people are flighters. I had a psychologist once tell me people of Germanic heritage struggle with conflict because in their DNA lies the message, “If we fight, we fight to the death.” While this makes a bit of sense, I also see this idea transfer to Nordic peoples and other possible cultures too. So why am I writing this article? Because I think conflict is very valuable! If you can say it, if you can go all of the way into the anger inside or push the buttons of another you will hear the belief come right out of their mouth or YOURS! This is pure gold for those who want to actualize their beliefs and reorder them to fit who they are now. I had a work relationship for 8 months with a person and what I didn’t realize was how she was always trying to take my power and I was not doing a thing about it! I think she didn’t even know it. There came a point when we had to renegotiate something. We came to an impasse so we then agreed to add a third party into the mix. The third party is somebody I know can hear all sides and is fair so this seemed perfect! We met for the third time and the “third” person wasn’t there. I asked why? She stammered and I could tell she was lying to me. I lost it. It was 8 months of slowly being power pillaged. Its my fault for not holding my power with her but she also could have been kind and respectful too. What was really happening was we were playing a role for each other and that final role she played for me was to scream my head off and “take it”. She didn’t take it and ran back to her office pointing fingers at me for being horrible! However, I didn’t care what the result. I had gotten something better than making this situation work. I had gotten the chance to spew on her everything I regarded myself to lack. I yelled at her all of the things I reject about me (my shadow). I later tried to reconstruct my violent outburst and was able to recapture most of it, work with it and grow. That was a huge gift this woman gave me. I’d never be able to tell her but I was able to share it with the person who stepped in to work with me forward going. See, so the conflict elicited change, change I needed. I was not cast out but accepted and my needs were met. I was paired then with a new communicator who to this day is a joy with which to work. Conflict is an opportunity. You don’t have to get wildly angry either. You just have to say it, to say what is absurd, seems judgmental and rude. You have to risk loosing your cool to get to the heart of the matter.

Energy Update “Recognizing the negative voice”

How do we crack the code of the negative voice in our mind? We start listening for it, once we recognize it we can learn how to tune it out and allow our positive mind to speak over the other. Being present is the key. Being present is when you have a thought and your negative voice chides you, stop the thinking. I visualize a white screen. Then I stay there and if the negative thoughts come in I see them but do not let them influence me. I let them float out, just as they floated in. Now if you find yourself running in circles in life. This is time to apply another tool. STOP, tune in and see what is the most opposite thing to do. If you have a deadline for something and you are feeling hungry and tired. To stop the intensity of the voice you’d be better to eat a little something and take a nap, then to keep pushing to meet your deadline. What are you really doing? You are coming back to presence. See the negative mind is at the ready to overthrow you. Your job is to recognize it, release it or act on the opposite. Naps, walks and watching a movie are my favorite ways to stop this voice. The more we release these thoughts with neutrality, the more we stop them. I practiced this for a week. This is a big lesson for me…and had two days of shear bliss in my power. Then I let the negative mind over throw me. I could see it in action but feigned interest in working with it to stop it and voila, there I am back at the negative mind running my show. I personally have let this voice of ego run the show at points in my life, especially lately. Ouch, it hurts. What I can tell you about this is when you know you’ve achieved presence you won’t care to tell others about it or make promises to others how you will be more or can do that extra thing. You will be quiet within yourself, know you are enough and worthy. This is the sign of an open heart, because it is discerning life, in place of trying. So at each moment you feel a negative message come in, release it, it is not divine. Divine messages are only positive ones. If you struggle with this voice, tell yourself 10 times a day, “I love myself and all of my cells in my body too.” “I am enough” Rejoice in your inner world that becomes when you stop beating yourself up and start working with the voice inside. Once you gain solid grounding with this, keep up the new voice of self-love so your natural power will be fully alive!

Energy Update, Self Judgment, working with our inner voice

“Self Judgment, working with our inner voice” I am reading a book called, “There is nothing wrong with you” by Cheri Huber. She teaches us how to stop the inner negative voice, which can make you feel low about and second-guess yourself. If we’re insecure we may look for validation outside of ourselves. We need and deserve to create an inner voice that loves and supports us so we can get this from us first, then what others say will mean way more to us. If we do this we achieve flow and peace. Things like manifestation become simple because we are already in our flow. How do we achieve it? By being in the present moment. See, when we look to the future or into the past, we cannot be in the oneness and we are then in our ego. Our egocentric modality takes over and creates who we are in place of being present and allowing us to truly be us, magnificent beings! If we operate moment to moment we can work with our ever- changing feelings but if we hold rigidly to being something for somebody else or “try”, we are in our ego. This is especially a grand trap for women. “If I just do this one more chore, I’ll have more time tomorrow.” That extra time never happens. Why? Because we are focused on future and pushing ourselves to do something maybe we don’t want to do. We also are justifying it, “If I, then “X”. If we tune in at that moment and ask what we want, we may see we have the energy to do the extra chore. With no judgment or resentment included, the task is simple for us and the next day we do find we have more time. If we tune in and the message is sit, go to bed, read a book or other? We need to follow the resting otherwise we are in the negative voice trap. Next week the article will be on how to stop the negative voice.

Energy Update "Recognizing when you are giving your power away"

“Recognizing when you’re giving you power away” If we operate from beliefs where we can’t see how they sabotage us, what are we supposed to do? Here’s a story that may help you see where these patterns are and change them. My husband and I have purchased two new cars in our life. The other cars have been used. When purchasing used cars we’ve had exceptional people to deal with for the sale. Truly! Kind, relaxed about the process and we felt heard. So what happened the two times we went to buy new cars? We gave our power away. We must carry a belief about getting service when making a big purchase because I can see it written all over MANY big ticket transactions we’ve made together. Windows, getting the house painted and others! However, I’ve especially sat with discomfort over the car purchases. One scenario we’d given somebody an opportunity to match the price to give them the sale on a car at a competing dealership. They agreed but when we went out of our way to pick the car up, they told us how this is a bad deal for them and they were sour with us. I just took it and didn’t say a thing. But now I see I needed to stand up and say, “Well, sounds like you didn’t want our sale after all. We’ve made special arrangements and come some distance to work with you, so now we’ll be going because we don’t do business this way.” This is challenging for me even reading this because I don’t want to hurt anybody but how we were treated WAS inappropriate. We offered the option for this person to match the price or miss the sale. When they made that choice to take the sale they needed to feel good about it. Not guilt us. The second time we went in excited but unsure of what we fully wanted. We drove some cars, looked around and finally decided. The color we wanted was at another dealership. When it came in it looked wrong to us both. A used car salesman was standing around and said, “Don’t every buy a car if you don’t like the color. You will regret it!” He then went on to tell us a story about how his dad did just this once and it illustrated the point nicely. However, our salesperson sighed with his hands on his hips like we were really putting him out by asking to order a different car. We are making a HUGE purchase (to us). I’ve often thought about these scenarios and at some point I figured it out because I sent a plumbing company away when they weren’t giving what they promised. They told me how inconvenient this was and I told them if they want my business they better send somebody who can plumb copper! I finally convinced the woman who had come with the plumber from their office to leave and send the other guy another day. Something was up anyway, why’d she come with this plumber??? In the end I feel she lied to me. She told me the other plumber we wanted was at a funeral. When he did come to do the work I said, “I’m sorry for your loss and he ducked his head and moved by me fast and without a word. However, what dawned on me the other day was…..and maybe none of you have these problems…..but what I realized is these left me ruminating for years. Wondering what I’d done wrong to make these people be mean to us or treat us poorly. That’s when it hit me. If you are ruminating about anything, you are stuck on some belief. If you can address what you are bringing back up in the way of thoughts and replaying the story of hurt, you can address, in time, the root cause. So go out there and fire plumbers, ask for another car…use your power and trust your heart’s desire!