Control or Expansion, you decide

How did controlling another start? A misunderstanding is what seems to be at this root. I came across an example today while talking to a friend and here's what I've found-

The creator and the destructor are a perfect union. Lets say men are destructors and women are creators. A child constructs a tower with blocks. Another child comes and knocks them over. How do we respond as parents? How do we respond as observers? How do we respond to each child involved?

This story is one of expansion. The boy child who knocks down the tower is actually asking for expansion. His nature is to destruct because without destruction we cannot have creation. The boy reaches out to the girls somewhat tall tower and inside his heart says “I want a bigger tower to knock down, I am activating my natural desire for expansion.” The girl can respond in several ways. ”He hurt me, this is personal” In truth this is a projection and belief given to her from her caregivers. “He wants me to build it bigger, he sees me as a creator. I bet if I ask him he will even help or give ideas on the way to make this of most value for us each. This gives us both a way to expand as completely as we can in this moment because it is his desire and now I choose for it to also be my desire or not my desire. (See it is only his desire, not his need or want but he knows he’s here to expand and create expansion. He creates the room for expansion, although without this co-creation he is not expecting to create both the destruction and creation but allowing another to create the expansion and he waits in this child like state of anticipation about what will unfold. He knows his truth and it is in shaming from a caregiver, which he turns the anger inward and it become destructive through personal control and force vs. through desire.