Intuitive Pathfinder

Boy, I've been thinking on this one a bit because things keep popping up. I feel like I'm building a VERY LARGE puzzle and many of the little pieces keep coming. This sounds so wise but its not. I don't understand. At all. I met an astounding woman a few days ago. She happened into my studio beyond chance. This day we amply shared the emotion of sadness and for both it centered around our children. The gift she brought is to see my own shadow and inward critic, unworthiness as a parent at a heart level. At a physical level all looks pretty good. At a spiritual level this looks like separation. Our relating emotional experience is separation, our belief? We are unworthy, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I am fearful of my children. This sounds irrational but that is one piece of my puzzle that overturned itself to be exposed at the end of May. Wow, I wanted to extract it from the puzzle but I know it is part of the bigger picture and the rest I need to release to something bigger with trust. The antidote to separation is forgiveness. I've been working radical forgiveness a lot lately. It ebbs and flows and right now it is flowing. There is a sense of guilt in taking the time to do this work but I know it is the thing to do, no matter how much time it consumes now. The alternative is to be consumed with fear which is fake anyway, wish that lesson would sink in! (I will) It activated in me a request for help from friends. Support to allow or open perspective is a step into me opening my heart fully to my kids. (which is me empowering myself) When I had children, without realizing it I remember saying, "My only fear about having kids is that they'll be like me." What I didn't realize is the gold in this statement. This in that very moment was me saying, "I reject me, so I must reject them" So then, what's the point of having children? It is so they too can feel separation. I struggle being their teacher about separation. I have come to this is the crux of my body issues. I stuff what I am supposed to 'unleash' with them because I am resisting playing the role of being me so they experience separation. Again, I'll figure it out and each day we grow closer to our source and for this I am grateful! Have a good day and honor the pieces in your puzzle no matter what shape they are. Amy