The Messenger in my life

"Well," Scratching my head, "it took me long enough!" This image is my cat. My second time I've had him. He didn't run away or get lost and return. He died and came back. It has taken me so long to understand it. When I was a child I had a black cat named Rascal. He was great, he loved me and was my best friend....even though he was a cat, not a dog. He died when he was 9 years old. Strikingly, I believe that is the number of completion! Then a half decade ago we fostered a mama cat who was a stripped short hair and not striking at all! She bore some beautiful kittens. Two were fluffy with the softest fur and great coloring. Two were short hairs like her and had nice markings as well. One of them was black on top and white on the bottom with a little blacky ink mark against his stunningly white fur on his back leg. I named him smudge and I knew we needed to keep that kitty with us. However, I didn't know why. A friend mentioned animals returning to be with us again in the same life. I thought about this and when I looked at my own circuit of cats, it dawned on me that Rascal is Smudge. The more I sat with it, the more I could see this to be true. Rascal died with this sore in his mouth and just where he had that sore, smudge has a black spot in his mouth. Rascal had a funny thing with his tail, so did Smudge, upon birth. So I accepted the possibility of Smudge being Rascal and Rascal being Smudge. One day it dawned on me that Rascal was all black with a little white on his throat. As a child I said what I thought to people and they seemed to listen, I had a little power with my voice. Now Smudge's under carriage is all white and he is bathed in black on top dripping down like chocolate. He is masked by the black. So this begs the question. Once Smudge releases from this life, what will he take with him? I think Rascal took a lot of my personal injuries with him. I believe he kept me healthy and made sacrifice for me through his own shortened life. Smudge is loving me a lot. He is dedicated to me and comes running when I call. Drama or love? Hard to tell, he is a cat! So what is to come? I suspect an improved version of Smudge and Rascal's legacy. I hope, in a sign that I've grown far, he'll come in a white variety? See, if we all tune into these things in our lives, WOW what we can find!!!

"Please, no photos" -Smudge

Lake Harriet Spiritual Center Psychic Fair Saturday May 18th 10-5pm Sunday May 19th Noon-5pm 4401 Upton Ave S Minneapolis, MN 55410 (612) 922-4272 For more information- http://www.meetup.com/lhsc-mn/events/115387182/

If we only find community through tragedy we must find purpose through the tragedy to find community outside of tragedy

I was thinking about how humans are a bit more isolated than I feel is healthy for us. Then I thought about that in contrast to a tragedy in our culture. When I pair the two what I come up with is we come together when there is a tragedy. We begin to be honest about needing each other, we know how to help another person without having to ask how. Spiritually this teaches us a few things. Is the tragedy occurring in response to our lack of connectedness? I'd define this as the people who commit the act are feeling unloved, they don't actually feel connected. They could be living a life which appears highly fulfilling on the outside but is not so on the inside. We have become afraid to express ourselves emotionally and this is an obstacle to finding support in the void of going through the motions of life vs. living life. So to me searching for "what is wrong with this person." This statement will grow more and more confusing with each passing tragedy. Why? Because it is fulfiling our manifestation that there is a pattern in them, not us. It is the pattern in us that we need to examine, not the alleged perpetrator. Secondly, we are silently asking for love. Each of us is. You think back to 911 and what America became for a few days. We helped each other, we didn't have airplanes flying overhead. The world suspended, we were quieter, in shock yes but also awe. My heart was overturned but in time that made fodder for new growth. It feels hurtful to know people were lost in these tragedies. That feels hurtful and wrong. It is not in our nature to hurt each other, or is it? We can turn to what sells in America, violence sells and the stakes are pretty high right now with the level of violence shown even in a preview. When we ask for more violence, in media and movies, etc. Then we can't wonder why more has come in reality. If we do, I think we are a little misguided. I spoke today with somebody about "Gun Control" even that is a silly notion. The more we control guns the more violence and resistance will shift into being. We need to stop looking to the government as the parent and stay in that connected to our neighbor space that serves us and them. I vote for connection! Do you? Amy

Can you live inside this story anymore?

As I've been driving around the city these past days I can't help but look at billboards and want to cry. I can't live inside this story anymore. This is a story about lies about fake, fakey, fake! I have started defining it as the "lies" and prayed in gratitude that my husband can live in the lie and take it or leave it. I can't do that which makes me feel weak. However, today I took back my power on this front. I signed up for an email system. The said they make it really easy! They shared it is so important for an email to be free of jargin or defined so everybody can understand it. I looked at their videos and went deeper for direction. Their direction was FULL of jargin. HA! I emailed the young associate who told me "his design team would help me." Ha! I haven't heard back from him. I wrote in my email that this advice about loosing jargin has been lost on them. I told him it made me laugh. I love laughing at the absurd! What a joy. This is a bad parent in the making, this company. Yes, I can embrace the irony of my shadow right here! The point is, be straight with people because that will make this story change and I can't wait until the mainstream story is Cancer has a cure, you are supported and loved and you can have it and know it now. Because this story is true now and I hope everybody knows this story in the coming years! I'm hosting an emotional release workshop in June, this is not to be missed and only 5 people can participate! Register as soon as you see the class info come out! Love to everybody, even the email guy and "his design team".

In the end the story changes

There is a myth in my family. A myth about who we become in the minds of those left behind when we die. My family makes people bigger than life because there is a little liar in each person in my family, a desire to embellish or make it bigger than it is. It is subtle because I was raised by the smart judgmentals. This was a recipe for solid growth for me. So I decided to think about what would happen if I passed away. From the mother who now tells me, "It is difficult to love you because I know too much about you." Or purposely rejects me when I am in my darkest moments. As much as this sounds like "ouchy" material it is the perfect way for me to feel separation which is what I believe we are here to experience so we can come back to the oneness. She is just playing a role to establish these feelings of rejection and ultimately separation. So I manifest a life that is about "I will never be enough, I am inherently wrong and that no matter what I do, in the eyes of my family, a burden and malicious." So I take this thought about what I've said above and pair it with the passing of my father. Watching the deck of cards shuffle and be dealt. Two people got jokers and they aren't happy. Two people didn't care what hand they were dealt, one retreated and one jumped in to steer the ship. Each noble choices. One sat atop the experience pointing like the highest of the highs, crying when it was appropriate and making all the right moves on the chess board to protect oneself as this one holds the most power on that board. So in my Eulogy, hopeful it is spoken from the heart but in the event it is spoken from the mind, I can bet the words will unfold from this quote from me: "My life is made into great lore from the eyes of my family." All I can really claim is, life is about perception, my perception is I would have signed up for this and I would again. This is living in odd wrapping.

Resistance creates friction, friction creates heat

Yep, the topic is global warming. The place is Earth. This energy experience, meaning Earth, is a place where the law is contrast. The answer is always in the contrast. The law of attraction is about contrast. So if we go back to the ice age, we had dinosaurs, animals who roamed the earth and had low functioning brains. It is possible our current depiction of dinosaurs is off a bit? What if dinosaurs had ipods, meaning they used their intuition to make movement through their lives. Thus, they never separated from their alignment. So if we blast forward to today. The contrast is the age of heat? Why would this be? The human brain has become quite savvy. However, many of us have separated from our alignment with our truth, relying on free-will. Because of this we judge others and ourselves~harshly. This creates resistance and the result is friction which interestingly creates heat. I have no solutions, just an observation I wanted to point out. My speculations center around; we need to ditch free-will, we will all heal and have space for everybody if we stop the resistance and see ourselves and others for the divine beings they and we truly are. Are you going to keep letting fear and resistance stand in your way?

When things stick or in this case "sick" out

Ahhh, a blog post, seems like the last thing you do when you are self employed is update the blog. However, I am home more, I am resting more and figured this makes for a great chance to post. When something goes wrong with your body and there is nobody who can help, we must accept that this is part of the journey. There may be limited support along the way but to complete the journey we must be ready. I've gotten a chance at this. For many years something's been going on with my body. Turns out there is, turns out its a bacterial infection called borrelia burgdorferi. Ever heard of it? I bet you have, its common name is Lyme's Disease named after a Lyme Connecticut where the infection was first spotted and reported. While I'm told this is a vector borne illness caused only by the bite of a tick. I am waiting until I heal to decide. 50% of cases had no rash or tick bite which they recall. For more information and a look into what its like to have Lyme physically, socially as well as what help is and is not available, watch this video "Under Our Skin" streaming on Netflixs and elsewhere I'm certain. As a human I've been told my digestion issues are vanity issues, I'm not sick at all, I'm creating my own problems, open my heart, I have a parasite but now its gone. All of this while I sit in doctor's offices crying, pleading with them to help me. I focused on digestion in conversations with doctors because the fatigue is hard to see. I am a parent with young children. I am self employed, etc. However, it is how this bug has taken my life away which I can now see. I couldn't volunteer, or take things on. Its like it shredded my ability to lead, to be social, to feel good, to see possibilities. It felt like I was always "trying" instead of being. I through the movie Under Our Skin I feel like my body is always in a state of panic. That is no way to live, trust me! I have good help through a functional MD who works out of Vadnais Heights MN. Spiritually, I can see the purpose of this in my life. This "disease" Dis Ease makes perfect sense. I need to let go in a big way. I need to trust others to help me, I need to be ok relying on others. I need support and I need to ask. I need also to take good care of myself. This bug messes with your ability to discern, to use your intuition for your own life. I'm happy for the experience and happy to be working with a doctor who can really help!